No more bullies please

Kids today are not the same as kids of past generations. Today’s kids have so much more to deal with. I am not saying that these same issues were not present in generations past, but they were not as heard of.

I was fortunate enough to go to a school where you very rarely even heard of drugs. And to my knowledge no one ever was busted at school for having drugs on campus. My children go to that same school in that same town, and think I hear about someone getting caught with drugs, or guns, or a knife at least every other week!

When I was younger, kids were mean and picked on each other sure. But not like today. Not where they publicly humiliate each other via the Internet. We were not put on display for the entire world to point at and laugh at.

And I’d like to say that these things, unfortunately, are not just associated with children anymore. Adults can be just as cruel. They too post degrading and humiliating things on public sites causing embarrassment beyond belief.

Where does this stop? When do we as a people step up and say enough!? We are the only ones who can change this. Our children are killing themselves over this!

As parents we MUST teach our children to not only value themselves but others. We need to teach our children how to lift each other up instead of putting each other down. Our children need to know how to firmly stand up for what they believe as well as for their friends and themselves.

We should help our kids learn how to be open and communicate with us, without fear of judgement and harsh words, in the event that they are bullied. As parents we need to give our kids everything they need to survive their teenage years. Be that a shoulder to cry on or a warrior who will help them fight (not physically obviously) to put a stop to the nonsense.

Kids need to know that bullying is not okay. Parents need to know that this is not the same kind of “right of passage” that they went through as a kid either. This is serious. Lets all band together and stop this craziness.

Until next time… live positively Wright!

Goodbye my dear friend

It is with a heavy heart that I write so late tonight. I am saddened to have to say goodbye to a dear friend and ex- coworker. She left this world to go to her forever home late last night.

She was a wonderful woman. She and I spent numerous hours talking and laughing about our kids. She was always eager to hear new ideas on dealing with the issue (my son and her grandson both being on different levels of the autism spectrum). Likewise she gave me a lot to think about and consider.

She gave the best hugs. The kind you can actually feel the love in. She loved everyone. Always finding the good in everyone she met. I don’t think I EVER heard her say a negative thing about anyone.

When she first became ill i started trying to find a time to go see her, but the illness being such a private matter the family asked that we wait until she got home. By the time she was release from the hospital and able to have visits, I had already been relieved of my position with the company. I had no opportunity to tell her goodbye or good luck.

I had hoped, when I heard that she had become well enough to make plans to return to work, that she would beat the illness. At seven o’clock (CST) this morning I received the news that she did not make it. Yet again I never got the chance to tell my friend goodbye or let her know how very dear she was to me. To say thank you for listening when I needed her. Or to tell her all that she will always mean to me.

So here’s to you Jane. I love you my friend. I pray you are at rest and peace now. Not one day will go by that I will not think of you fondly, and remember all you have taught me. Every time I see a ray of sunshine I will know that it is you looking down on me and those you loved. With you big smile and wonderful laugh. Goodbye my sweet friend. I will see in the forever after.

Shh! We are talking religion

Religion is a touchy subject. Mostly because there are so many views, beliefs, theories, and religions out there. I can remember growing up I was always told not to discuss religion or politics in public unless you want to start a conflict. I can assure you now that is not my desire.

I look at religion differently than most people. Or at least that’s my opinion. I was raised Baptist and much to my mother’s disappointment I married a man who was raised Mormon. You see I, unlike most people, do not believe that one religion is better than another.

I believe in the Bible. In what is says. I believe that as long as a person believes in God, his son Jesus Christ, and the fact that he died on the cross for our sins then they will go to Heaven when they die. Regardless of religion.

I do not believe in other religious books other than the Bible. And I don’t believe that there will be only one religion in Heaven. I think when we get there, there will be people from all walks of life, of all shapes and sizes and colors. The ONLY thing we will have in common will be our belief in God.

To sum it up, it is my belief that if you want to know what you should believe, read the Bible.

Until next time… live positively Wright!

The family alcohol left behind

Many people drink alcohol. For some, it is fine. For others, not so much. Let me begin by saying I have no problem with recreational drinking. As long as you are responsible about it.

However, there are some who can not be responsible. They set out with the intention of drinking only one. But they lack the willpower to stop after one. They pick up another, and then another. At some point they start to slur their words and become so off balance that they can’t walk. Yet they still don’t realize they are drunk.

Drunken people often assume one of two personalities. They either become so mellow and calm that they are relaxed and overly peaceful and agreeable, or they become combative and belligerent. I’ve never known either to be a good fit for a family.

An overly peaceful and agreeable drunk has a tendency to not remember what they agreed to the next day. I have seen them spend so much money agreeing to something that the family must go without necessities for months. They go broke due to one bender. I have even see single people agree to marry people they hardly know because they were drunk. Or if they are married, allow someone of the opposite sex to talk them into a one nighter that is inevitably discovered by the spouse, thus destroying a family.

If they are belligerent and combative they too have a whole slew of issues that can destroy a family. They put loved ones down when they are drunk. Or worse the become physically abusive. They will argue with anyone because they are never wrong and they are invincible.

Either way, when an alcoholic gets drunk they forget about everything but themselves and their alcohol. I once knew a man who had his kids for the weekend (he and his wife were separated) and he was driving around while he was drinking with his small children in the car. A family friend followed him hoping he would stop so he could hopefully get his keys or the kids so that they would be safe. The father pulled into his driveway, opened the car door, let his kids out, and before the friend could even get out of his truck the father sat back down and passed out.

It was well after dark. If the friend hasn’t showed up when he had any number of things could have happened to those kids. While separated the man and his wife had been trying to work things out for the sake of their family. After this incident however, the wife could not in good faith continue with the marriage. So for the sake of her daughters she divorced her husband. Yet another family destroyed by alcoholism.

Alcoholism destroys families in other ways too. Like when a drunk driver hits someone. Whether that someone is in a vehicle or walking. The victim can end up paralyzed, brain damaged, or dead. No matter which, their family is forever changed. Or what if the drunk driver is the one who is severely injured or dead? While they were the person in the wrong their family is still forever changed.

Let me be absolutely clear, I do drink occasionally. But I am responsible. I may have one or two drinks a year and I never drive after I have had a drink. Even one drink can affect your ability to drive. When I do drink I don’t drink fast. I sip my drink so that I don’t finish it and order another and then another. And, I think most importantly, I am informed. I know that alcoholism can run in the family. I do have an uncle who is an alcoholic so I am overly careful when I do decide to drink. I am also married to a recovering alcoholic. He has been sober for six years. I know first hand the damage alcoholism can do to a family.

If you are, or think you may be an alcoholic please get help. Talk to your doctor, clergy, or a family member or friend who you trust. Attend an AA meeting and ask them where you can get the help you need. It may save your life.

If you are a family member of an alcoholic please know you are not alone. Know also, you don’t have to do this alone. There are others of us out there. If you need to talk you can email me. I will listen and offer any advice I can. If I don’t have an answer I WILL dig until I have one. There is also an amazingly helpful group out there called ALANON. Google them. I promise you will be glad you did.

Until next time… live positively Wright!

In Ten Years

Everyone thinks about the future. When setting goals people ask themselves, “where do I see myself in five, ten, or twenty years?” I am no different.

In ten years all of my children will be grown. The youngest will be twenty. So I am hoping I will be a grandmother at least once. I can imagine my grand baby staying the night and me spoiling him or her.

I hope to still be blogging at that time. Hopefully my blog will be well known by then. Maybe it will have even helped someone. Changed a life for the better. After all that is my goal in blogging to begin with.

Hopefully my husband and I will have built our dream house by that point. And maybe I can convince him to make the exterior look like a log cabin. I have always dreamed of a log cabin with a fire place.

Maybe my husband will have the boat he has always wanted, and the truck he will need to tow it. We will take vacations and stay on the boat at night and fish all day. We love the outdoors.

I am pretty content with my life as it is. It is important to learn to be thankful for what you have. I am fortunate to be able to say that I have. So you won’t hear me wish for material things often. Mostly, I wish peace and happiness for my family and friends. If they are happy, feel loved, and at peace then I am happy.

Where do you see yourself in ten years?

Until next time…live positively Wright!

Are our daughters truly beautiful?

What makes a female beautiful? If you asked this question to one hundred different people you would likely get one hundred different answers. Some may say things like: curves, legs, chest, butt, hair,eyes, or even shape and size. Very seldom do we hear things like: brains, personality, or values. What does this say to our daughters? We wounded why there are so many young women with low self esteem. Is it possible that we as a society have given it to them? When we oogle a celebrity more for her looks and less for what she stands for or believes that is exactly what we are doing.

There are too many young women who think they have to be a certain size or shape, or that their hair has to be a certain color or worn a certain way. I hear about mothers taking their daughters, as young as nine years old, to get their hair colored or their nails sculpted. While many moms wills say things like “oh it’s not a big deal,” “it’s just a little girls’ time,” or “it’s a bonding time,” I wonder if they have considered the long term effects this “fun bonding” is causing. Have they considered the effects those sculpted nails will have have on their child’s natural nails, or the effects of their child breathing in all of those chemicals? It is MY opinion that this not only tells our daughters they are not beautiful enough as they are, but it also leads to more, not so healthy, ways to “improve” their appearance as they grow. It leads to an obsession.

There are young women who spend several hours a week tanning, both in the sun and in tanning beds, without any thought or concern of cancer or any other long term effects. Young girls are starting to wear make up younger and younger. What about the damage being done to their skin with the saturation of all those chemicals in the products they are using. Not to mention that the earlier they start wearing make up the earlier they have to battle acne which further complicates the self esteem issue. There are even mothers out there that take their daughters to have plastic surgery! When did it become okay for us to tell our daughters they are not beautiful enough just the way they are? That they should be prettier, tanner, thinner? To those mothers I say… this is NOT teaching acceptance.

Now don’t get me wrong; there is nothing wrong with feeling beautiful and pretty. But we as women need to take a step back and realize that beauty is not on the outside. It is not something that is seen. Do you think a blind man does not think his wife is beautiful? And yet he has never seen her. If asked why, he would probably tell you things like her laugh, her whit, her caring heart, her warm embrace, or her sense of purpose and value. Those are the things that make us all beautiful. What we stand for, what we believe, our character.

Our skin will wrinkle and age. Our eye sight will fade. What we thought was beautiful to the eye yesterday will be a fuzzy, hazed fog tomorrow. Hair greys, thins, or even falls out. Women were made to fluctuate in weight. Pregnancy? We should be teaching our young women to be comfortable and confident in WHO they are and not WHAT they are. So when age; when life happens to them they can handle it with grace and elegance as opposed to falling apart or becoming depressed.

To those who disagree with me, if you have daughters, please be cautious and informed about the products you and/or your children are using. There are healthier ways out there to accomplish the same results you are used to. There are 100% all natural products for hair, make up, almost everything that can be used in place of the chemical filled ones the majority uses. Look at what goes into your make up or hair products. If you can’t say it, it probably isn’t natural. Look it up. These all natural products may cost more (some are actually less expensive) but what is your daughters’ health worth to you?

I want to thank my wonderful husband for ALWAYS finding me beautiful. Every minute of everyday for fourteen wonderful years. I love you.
Until next time… live positively Wright!

A powerful thought

On any given day I hear people asking why. “Why can I never catch a break?” “Why do I always feel so low?” “Why does something always happen to put me in a bad mood?” I have been there myself and know the feeling all to well. About a year ago there was hardly a day that went by that I didn’t end the day with a why question myself. I could start the day out in the best of moods, but by the time my day was done that dreaded question loomed overhead. Dragging, not only myself but my loved ones down. It was like a dark gloomy cloud lurked over me, my job, and even my home. I, like so many people, was miserable.
Then a very dear friend of mine showed me another way to look at things. She told me bad things do happen. No one can stop that, but I am in control of how those things effect me. I get to choose how I respond to and feel about my situations and circumstances. At first I thought she was crazy. I mean, if something bad happens, it’s not like I want to jump up and down and celebrate it. It took me awhile to realize that she wasn’t saying to be happy that something unfortunate was going on, or that I should never have any sad or low feelings. She was simply telling me that our feelings and emotions only carry as much weight and power as we give them.

“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” – Guatama Buddha

My friend went on to explain that when we experience difficulty it’s okay to acknowledge that; to feel that, but the longer we dwell on it the more power we give that negative emotion. Power to drag us down. Almost everything has a flip side. For every negative there is a positive, if you look close enough. But searching for that positive is a choice everyone must make for themselves.
Not being one to believe everything I hear, I decided to put my friend’s theory to the test. For two weeks I dug DEEP and tried to find the positive in every situation. I won’t lie. It wasn’t easy. However, during those two weeks, not only was I happier and asked why a lot less, but I was more pleasant to be around. My kids noticed, my husband noticed, even my co-workers noticed the difference. I had people who I rarely even spoke to come up and tell me how much happier I appeared. These same people went on to tell me that my happiness was so contagious that they wanted to be around me more because it improved their moods.
My friend was right. Emotions are contagious. If you are happy and positive; those around you become more happy and positive. After an amazing two weeks, I decided a positive lifestyle was so much more pleasant and enjoyable that the negative one I had been living. And I wanted the peace that came with positivity.
This is not a new concept. Looking back in history many people have concluded the same thing. Many call it karma, quoting Nancy Reagan in saying, “I am a big believer that eventually everything comes back to you. You get back what you give out.” However, Nancy Reagan was not the only well known person who tried to bring this idea to the public. Martin Luther King said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” I think this aspect of positive living has been the hardest for me. After all it is extremely hard to forgive someone who willfully and knowingly wrongs you or a loved one. Let alone love them. Then one day I found this quote; “Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” – Paul Boese. I mulled this over for days. One day the obviousness of the statement sank in. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you forget what was said or done. It simply means that you understand that the person who wronged you has yet to grow to the evolved level you have. They are still being defeated by negativity. When I thought about it this way, I no longer felt anger or resentment towards that person. Instead I felt sorry for them. Now I make every effort to show them as much happiness and positivity as I can in hopes that its contagious nature will stick with them and they may grow into a positive being too. Killing them with kindness I guess you could say.

“It is a fact that you project what you are.” – Norman Vincent Peale

How would you want people to describe you? However you choose to answer that question, you are the only person who can make that answer a reality. No one can make you feel ANYTHING without your permission. Be the master of your emotions. Be contagious. After all, we live life; life does not live us.

“There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you.” – David Burns

Until next time…live positively Wright.