Archive | July 2013

Are our daughters truly beautiful?

What makes a female beautiful? If you asked this question to one hundred different people you would likely get one hundred different answers. Some may say things like: curves, legs, chest, butt, hair,eyes, or even shape and size. Very seldom do we hear things like: brains, personality, or values. What does this say to our daughters? We wounded why there are so many young women with low self esteem. Is it possible that we as a society have given it to them? When we oogle a celebrity more for her looks and less for what she stands for or believes that is exactly what we are doing.

There are too many young women who think they have to be a certain size or shape, or that their hair has to be a certain color or worn a certain way. I hear about mothers taking their daughters, as young as nine years old, to get their hair colored or their nails sculpted. While many moms wills say things like “oh it’s not a big deal,” “it’s just a little girls’ time,” or “it’s a bonding time,” I wonder if they have considered the long term effects this “fun bonding” is causing. Have they considered the effects those sculpted nails will have have on their child’s natural nails, or the effects of their child breathing in all of those chemicals? It is MY opinion that this not only tells our daughters they are not beautiful enough as they are, but it also leads to more, not so healthy, ways to “improve” their appearance as they grow. It leads to an obsession.

There are young women who spend several hours a week tanning, both in the sun and in tanning beds, without any thought or concern of cancer or any other long term effects. Young girls are starting to wear make up younger and younger. What about the damage being done to their skin with the saturation of all those chemicals in the products they are using. Not to mention that the earlier they start wearing make up the earlier they have to battle acne which further complicates the self esteem issue. There are even mothers out there that take their daughters to have plastic surgery! When did it become okay for us to tell our daughters they are not beautiful enough just the way they are? That they should be prettier, tanner, thinner? To those mothers I say… this is NOT teaching acceptance.

Now don’t get me wrong; there is nothing wrong with feeling beautiful and pretty. But we as women need to take a step back and realize that beauty is not on the outside. It is not something that is seen. Do you think a blind man does not think his wife is beautiful? And yet he has never seen her. If asked why, he would probably tell you things like her laugh, her whit, her caring heart, her warm embrace, or her sense of purpose and value. Those are the things that make us all beautiful. What we stand for, what we believe, our character.

Our skin will wrinkle and age. Our eye sight will fade. What we thought was beautiful to the eye yesterday will be a fuzzy, hazed fog tomorrow. Hair greys, thins, or even falls out. Women were made to fluctuate in weight. Pregnancy? We should be teaching our young women to be comfortable and confident in WHO they are and not WHAT they are. So when age; when life happens to them they can handle it with grace and elegance as opposed to falling apart or becoming depressed.

To those who disagree with me, if you have daughters, please be cautious and informed about the products you and/or your children are using. There are healthier ways out there to accomplish the same results you are used to. There are 100% all natural products for hair, make up, almost everything that can be used in place of the chemical filled ones the majority uses. Look at what goes into your make up or hair products. If you can’t say it, it probably isn’t natural. Look it up. These all natural products may cost more (some are actually less expensive) but what is your daughters’ health worth to you?

I want to thank my wonderful husband for ALWAYS finding me beautiful. Every minute of everyday for fourteen wonderful years. I love you.
Until next time… live positively Wright!

A powerful thought

On any given day I hear people asking why. “Why can I never catch a break?” “Why do I always feel so low?” “Why does something always happen to put me in a bad mood?” I have been there myself and know the feeling all to well. About a year ago there was hardly a day that went by that I didn’t end the day with a why question myself. I could start the day out in the best of moods, but by the time my day was done that dreaded question loomed overhead. Dragging, not only myself but my loved ones down. It was like a dark gloomy cloud lurked over me, my job, and even my home. I, like so many people, was miserable.
Then a very dear friend of mine showed me another way to look at things. She told me bad things do happen. No one can stop that, but I am in control of how those things effect me. I get to choose how I respond to and feel about my situations and circumstances. At first I thought she was crazy. I mean, if something bad happens, it’s not like I want to jump up and down and celebrate it. It took me awhile to realize that she wasn’t saying to be happy that something unfortunate was going on, or that I should never have any sad or low feelings. She was simply telling me that our feelings and emotions only carry as much weight and power as we give them.

“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” – Guatama Buddha

My friend went on to explain that when we experience difficulty it’s okay to acknowledge that; to feel that, but the longer we dwell on it the more power we give that negative emotion. Power to drag us down. Almost everything has a flip side. For every negative there is a positive, if you look close enough. But searching for that positive is a choice everyone must make for themselves.
Not being one to believe everything I hear, I decided to put my friend’s theory to the test. For two weeks I dug DEEP and tried to find the positive in every situation. I won’t lie. It wasn’t easy. However, during those two weeks, not only was I happier and asked why a lot less, but I was more pleasant to be around. My kids noticed, my husband noticed, even my co-workers noticed the difference. I had people who I rarely even spoke to come up and tell me how much happier I appeared. These same people went on to tell me that my happiness was so contagious that they wanted to be around me more because it improved their moods.
My friend was right. Emotions are contagious. If you are happy and positive; those around you become more happy and positive. After an amazing two weeks, I decided a positive lifestyle was so much more pleasant and enjoyable that the negative one I had been living. And I wanted the peace that came with positivity.
This is not a new concept. Looking back in history many people have concluded the same thing. Many call it karma, quoting Nancy Reagan in saying, “I am a big believer that eventually everything comes back to you. You get back what you give out.” However, Nancy Reagan was not the only well known person who tried to bring this idea to the public. Martin Luther King said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” I think this aspect of positive living has been the hardest for me. After all it is extremely hard to forgive someone who willfully and knowingly wrongs you or a loved one. Let alone love them. Then one day I found this quote; “Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” – Paul Boese. I mulled this over for days. One day the obviousness of the statement sank in. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you forget what was said or done. It simply means that you understand that the person who wronged you has yet to grow to the evolved level you have. They are still being defeated by negativity. When I thought about it this way, I no longer felt anger or resentment towards that person. Instead I felt sorry for them. Now I make every effort to show them as much happiness and positivity as I can in hopes that its contagious nature will stick with them and they may grow into a positive being too. Killing them with kindness I guess you could say.

“It is a fact that you project what you are.” – Norman Vincent Peale

How would you want people to describe you? However you choose to answer that question, you are the only person who can make that answer a reality. No one can make you feel ANYTHING without your permission. Be the master of your emotions. Be contagious. After all, we live life; life does not live us.

“There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you.” – David Burns

Until next time…live positively Wright.